Tales of Suspense #72, Dec. 1965

Tales of Suspense #72, Dec. 1965

Stan Lee, writer
Don Heck, penciller
Mickey Demeo, inker
Artie Simek, letterer

Stan Lee, Sultan of Script!
Jack Kirby, Lord of Layout!
George Tuska, Archduke of Art!
Sam Rosen, Tired of Lettering!

They just keep trying to make the Mad Thinker a relevant villain, but he’s so goddamn useless that he gets beaten immediately and nothing he does makes any sense. For instance, in this Iron Man story he’s approached by a countess to find out Iron Man’s secret identity and she has to pay him a THOUSAND DOLLARS (OOOOO!) for this service, but he first says he doesn’t need money at all then says that he could make more money than she’s even imagined if he wanted to. So… why the fuck is he doing this? Why would the Thinker care about Iron Man? I fucking hate the Thinker.

Iron Man gets home from defeating the Titanium Man last issue, and almost immediately gets captured by the Mad Thinker’s Awesome Android. You know, the big guy with the grey eraser head that he stole from Mr. Fantastic? Anyway, the android brings Tony Stark back to the Thinker’s hideout so he can ask him who Iron Man is (that is his plan), but he manages to get away and turn into his super-powered alter-ego and he beats up the android (who copies his suit’s power because that’s what the android does) and leaves him to die when the building explodes. Aww, poor eraserhead.

Meanwhile, it turns out that Captain America’s WWII exploits that have been going on in this magazine were just tales he was telling to his fellow Avengers. After a bad dream, Cap remembers that the Red Skull once told him that in 20 years there would be three “Sleepers” who awoke and brought the Nazis back… and that it’s 20 years later NOW! Cap boogies over to Germany to find a giant Nazi robot that shoots electricity from its hands is tearing up the countryside, and that this is just the first of the Sleepers. Uh-oh.

I fucking love this giant, goofy Nazi robot. It’s like something out of a 50’s sci-fi movie, except somehow even sillier. It is really nice that the Captain America stories are back to “modern” times instead of WWII adventures, though. It’s just way more interesting when he fights huge robots and supervillains and stuff instead of vaguely evil Nazi commandants with monocles. Seriously, just look at this panel and tell me that you wouldn’t want to read this story. You can’t. There’s no way.

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About Reid

Born in a dumpster, died in a fire. View all posts by Reid

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