Tales of Suspense #75, Mar. 1966

tos075Tales of Suspense #75, Mar. 1966

Titanically written by: Stan Lee
Tremendously drawn by: Adam Austin
Tumultuously inked by: Gary Michaels
Timorously lettered by: Sam Rosen

Stan Lee, script
Jack Kirby, layout
Dick Ayers, pencil
J. Tartaglione, inks
Artie Simek, lettering
Irving Forbush, cheer leader

two-stars

Last time, on Tales of Suspense! Tony Stark’s chauffeur/bodyguard Happy Hogan saved Iron Man from being killed by Titanium Man, and was almost killed himself in the process. To cure him, some quack of a doctor used some random ray he had no idea what function it had and accidentally brought Happy back as a giant bald monster with no brain! Comic books.

Now, Iron Man has to stop the monster Happy’s become without accidentally killing him, and, as always, the charge in his armor is almost down to nothing. His armor has worse battery life than an iPhone!! Thank you, thank you. It turns out that the new monster Hogan is stronger than ol’ shellhead, so he leads him back to his lab so he can shoot him with another ray to turn him back to normal. This ray might kill Stark in the meanwhile, but gosh darnit, he owes Happy his life!

Captain America, on the other hand, just got home from defeating the ridiculous Sleeper robots the Red Skull set up, and finds himself in a scuttle on the street between a lady agent of SHIELD and Batroc the Leaper, French mercenary skilled in the art of “la savatte”. Cap beats the shit out of him, but in the scuffle a package of highly dangerous “Inferno 42” starts to leak, which will destroy the city in 30 minutes unless Cap and the Frenchman team up to find the agent!

Savate, the actual name of the French martial arts style Batroc is supposed to be a master of, is something like kickboxing, only… Frenchier. Look, I didn’t actually read the Wikipedia article about it, except for the part where it mentions Batroc twice. Clearly, Batroc the Leaper is the most famous savateur ever, and he’s this awful stereotype in a ridiculous purple spandex outfit who says “honh honh honh” as he kicks people in the face. France should be so proud.

tos075p

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