Category Archives: 1 Star

Daredevil #14, Mar. 1966

dd014Daredevil #14, Mar. 1966

Story… Stan Lee
Pencilling… John Romita
Inking… Frankie Ray
Lettering… Artie Simek

one-star

Ugh, I had forgotten just how bad Daredevil was over the last year when I hadn’t been reading comics. I mean, when your guest star is Ka-Zar and he completely overshadows your main character despite not actually doing anything all issue, you’ve got something really bad going on.

So Ka-Zar and the Plunderer are long lost brothers, and they each have half of a medallion which will unlock great power etc etc. The Plunderer immediately gets the other half of his medallion (and disposes of his backstabbing butler Feepers), then cracks open his prize, a much larger version of the same stone which can vibrate and destroy weapons. Since he’s the Plunderer, he calls it the “plunder stone” and makes it into a disintegration ray. Also he makes a really dumb costume for himself.

The Plunderer takes his pirate crew to a missile base where he easily takes over because only they have guns that work, and are about to shoot missiles off into everywhere when Daredevil FINALLY decides to do something productive and stops him. With his super-hearing he can tell that the guns the Plunderer’s flunkies use are made out of plastic, and tells the army that his ray doesn’t work on plastic stuff. It’s a good thing this is still the 60’s, and not everything everywhere is made out of plastic yet. With this revelation, Daredevil handily defeats the ridiculous villain, and convinces him to tell the cops that Ka-Zar isn’t guilty of murder after all. Foggy and Karen came all the way to England to defend the brute in court, but it turns out it was all for nothing, and basically it was just a way for Matt Murdoch to get a ride home. Lazy superhero.

I have it on pretty good authority that guns made entirely of plastic wouldn’t work, but I’m more concerned with this vibrating stone that only destroys weapons. What the fuck is that thing, and if its been trapped in a concrete dome that can only be cracked by a smaller part of itself, why did it not crack the thing open simply by the virtue of it being itself? That doesn’t make any fucking sense, c’mon Stan.

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The Avengers #26, Mar. 1966

aven026The Avengers #26, Mar. 1966

Incredible script by: Stan Lee
Inconceivable art by: Don Heck
Indescribable inking by: Frank Ray
Indelible lettering by: Artie Simek

one-star

Wow, way to follow up a fight with Dr. Doom, you bring back Attuma, idiot of the deep, and the Wasp to boot. I think this is the story that eventually leads to Wasp and Giant Man rejoining the Avengers, and that fuckin’ sucks. I hate them so much, and they’re part of the reason I hate Attuma so much. The dude was once beaten by Giant Man just because all he did was change size in front of the underwater overlord and it freaked him out. Attuma is the worst.

The Wasp is on her way to warn the Avengers about the run-in she and Hank had with Namor in Tales to Astonish #77, but during one of her rests on the ocean she’s captured by a big dumb machine operated by the big dumb Attuma. He thinks she must be a spy, there to sabotage his machine that is slowly raising the tides of all the oceans in the world. She escapes and warns the Avengers, and they all head down there to help her, except for Hawkeye, who’s too busy showing off his Avengers ring to a bunch of girls in a bar. Oh Hawkeye, you scamp.

The Avengers are quickly beaten by Attuma because the atmosphere in his underwater ship is hard for them to breathe. Apparently Attuma’s men think it wasn’t fair, so he releases them, gives them air helmets, then fights them again. Basically the same thing happens again, except this time they let water into the room and obviously the Atlantean has no problem fighting while underwater.

So, at one point Attuma says that the Wasp is there to sabotage his water-making machine, then later when Quicksilver tries to find it to blow it up, he claims that it’s nowhere near where they are now. SO WHY DID YOU THINK SHE WAS THERE TO SABOTAGE YOU, YOU FUCK?! Also, why do Attuma’s men complain about him beating them in humid, hard-to-breathe air, but not about them being clearly much more hindered while fighting underwater? This whole thing is a bunch of crap if you ask me.

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Daredevil #13, Feb. 1966

Daredevil #13, Feb. 1966

Dastardly story by: Stan Lee
Demoniac layouts by: Jack Kirby
Devastating artwork by: John Romita
Dilapidated lettering by: Sam Rosen

Oh Daredevil, bringing you all the twists and turns that nobody ever asked for or were interested in. Did you know that Ka-Zar’s real name is Kevin Plunder, and that he’s the brother of the evil pirate Parnival Plunder, also known as the Plunderer? Apparently that’s the case! How stupid is that!

Daredevil, blind and in a cave, is set upon by a big ugly caveman guy. Unable to use his radar sense and pretty seriously outmatched in the strength department, Daredevil fights for his life until the Plunderer comes along and shoots the caveman, scaring him away. Meanwhile, Ka-Zar and Zabu fight off an attacking plant so they can get the Ju-Ju berries which will heal Daredevil’s powers. When they get back to their cave, the Plunderer tells Ka-Zar that they’re brothers, and to prove it they both pull out half of an amulet which their father gave them. The Plunderer cages Ka-Zar and takes him and Daredevil back to his castle in England.

Hoping Daredevil will be able to get the amulet from Ka-Zar, he throws them both in a pit together and watches them fight. Once again, the jungle man has changed his mind about how he feels about Daredevil and isn’t in the mood to cooperate until DD knocks out the Plunderer and helps Ka-Zar out of the hole. They’re accosted first by the Plunderer’s first mate, and then by his butler, Feepers, but they manage to get away from both of them and escape the castle. Being a civic-minded villain, Parnival Plunder calls the police and tells them that there are two weird-looking murderers on the loose.

The reason everyone is after this medallion is because it’s made of this substance that destroys metal when it’s struck, and which is the key to a safe containing a big ol’ pile of the stuff. They didn’t give it a name, but I don’t think it’s vibranium, another similar made-up element that they end up using all over the place in the Marvel universe. That won’t come until the Fantastic Four meet the Black Panther, which actually I don’t think is that far off, so who knows.


Tales to Astonish #76, Feb. 1966

Tales to Astonish #76, Feb. 1966

Story: Stan Lee
Pencilling: Adam Austin
Delineation: Vince Colletta
Lettering: Sam Rosen

Script: Stan Lee
Layout: Jack Kirby
Pencilling: Scott Edward
Inking: Mickey Demeo
Lettering: Artie Simek

Namor wraps up a now seven issue long plotline here… though they’re only half-issue stories, so I guess it’s more like three and a half issues long. Still, that’s pretty long for as lame as this Sub-Mariner series has been. Especially since basically nothing at all happens in this final issue of it… which… I guess that only makes it three normal issues long.

Namor gets back home and beats the crap out of Krang for being a bad man who dun tried to steal his underwater empire. He promotes the old guy who helped him to Grand Vizier and exiles Krang because he couldn’t possibly be a threat anymore. That’s it, that’s all that happens. This would be good pacing for the non-action stuff if this was a full-magazine feature, but it ain’t so it ain’t.

The Hulk is in the 25th century because the army stupidly shot him with a time-travel gun without knowing anything about what it does. He’s attacked and eventually captured by a bunch of future soldiers in goofy Kirby-esque costumes who bring him to their king. The king asks the Hulk’s help against an evil guy who’s attacking them, but the Hulk really doesn’t give a shit and breaks out just in time to see future tanks approaching the city. He rips the top off one of the tanks to see just who this evil one is, and who would it be but the Executioner!

The last we saw the Executioner, he was running away from the Avengers along with the Enchantress, who later joined up with Power Man and did her own thing. But this is also 500 years or so in the future, and since the Executioner is one of Asgard’s immortals, it could just be him from this time period having fun raiding castles and the like and not have anything to do with time travel. I guess we’ll find out in the next Tales to Astonish!


Tales to Astonish #75, Jan. 1966

Tales to Astonish #75, Jan. 1966

Story by: Smilin’ Stan Lee
Pencilling by: Admirable Adam Austin
Delineation by: Valorous Vince Colletta
Lettering by: Sagacious Sam Rosen

Story: Stan Lee
Layouts: J. Kirby
Illustrations: M. Demeo
Lettering: S. Rosen
Enjoying: That’s your job, pussycat!

Oh good, we’re finally at the end of this Sub-Mariner plot where he has to go to random places in the ocean and do pointless shit so he can get a big ol’ golden bejeweled trident. He still has to deal with Kang, but that’ll be next issue. This whole two half-stories per issue thing has it’s benefits and it’s downsides; sometimes it’s annoying that it takes so long to get to the end of a story, but it’s also an extremely good marketing ploy to get people to keep buying your comic.

Looks like Namor’s gonna die with Lady Dorma in his arms as he stares down a troupe of Faceless Ones that are gonna rip him up. Just then, Neptune himself shows up and tells the Sub-Mariner that he’s won, and that abandoning his quest to help the girl he loves was actually the last part of the test. Okay, whatever. Namor has to book it back to Atlantis so he can put Dorma in a revitalizing chamber and heal her, and he has to fight through Krang’s forces while holding her to do it. He literally beats an army without using either of his hands.

The Hulk is back on Earth and he’s a little surprised that the supremely advanced machine he stole from the Watcher has killed the Leader. Pretty much right after seeing that he decides, fuck it, he’s going to try and use the machine as well, and because of this he receives a psychic message from Rick Jones that he needs to go to Washington D.C. On his way there, General “Thunderbolt” Ross shoots him with an experimental “T-Gun” that they found the plans for in Bruce Banner’s stuff and then built, despite not knowing what it does. What does it do? It sends the Hulk into the distant future, where everything is all broken and smashed!

So Bruce Banner, who is under suspicion from the government for being a commie spy, designed this gun that shoots people through time… and the army just built it because, what the fuck, why not? Even for fiction, that’s pretty incredibly reckless and amazingly stupid. I wonder if the Hulk is going to meet Kang the Conqueror…